Creating psychological safety in the wake of tragedy for the LGBTQ community
We talk about safe spaces a lot in the workplace - how to create safe spaces so that employees and organizations can thrive, generate creative ideas, and address harassment and inequity.
We are once again tragically reminded that when safe spaces in the community, like Club Q, an LGBTQ gathering place in Colorado Springs, are violated, it can feel overwhelming and triggering.
While many people are impacted by these attacks, we who are from the same marginalized community as the victims experience the attack secondarily, as an embodied threat. That doesn't go away when we enter our workspaces. Instead, we must actively manage that embodied threat at work.
As much as we might try to compartmentalize, many LGBTQ people and allies are showing up to work feeling grief, scared for the safety of people in our community and ourselves, outraged at the injustice, and so many other things as a result of the November 19th mass shooting.
You may have noticed a slight shift in your workplace since 11.19 or after other identity-related attacks. Some of us have been actively hiding our sense of threat at work, which may look like avoidance of tasks and colleagues. We may have seemed forgetful or easily distracted, or even abdicated work that we care about to others.
As with all tragic public events, it can be hard to know how to show up to work - for people feeling the pain, and for managers and leaders who want to be supportive.
If you have been emotionally affected by the Club Q shooting, here are some tips for how to cope during this time:
Give yourself some space. Allow yourself to feel, grieve, and heal. It's ok to take time off (if you can) or show up not at your 100%.
Reach out to others for support. Seek support from friends, family, and community - if you're grieving, there's a good chance others are too.
Let people know you are not feeling 100%. If it's safe, ask a colleague, mentor, or boss to relax some work so that you have space for self-care, or let your colleagues know that your mind is not fully at work right now.
Access employee resources. Seek out employee affinity groups - maybe your organization has a formal or even informal LGBTQ group. If not and you think it would be useful, bookmark that as something to potentially advocate for later. Consider using your EAP (Employee Assistance Program) for confidential support.
Practice grounding. It is totally normal and understandable to switch into a hypervigilant state, so make time to practice your favorite grounding exercise. For example, before each meeting, try putting your feet on the ground, and turn your head and eyes all the way to the left of the room, then to the right, then up, and then down. Moving our bodies to "check the space" can help us settle and be more able to interact with others.
See your mind. Notice your internal landscape. You may find yourself feeling defensive or overwhelmed by everyday occurrences. That is completely normal. Notice it. Don't judge it. Bring empathy to your feelings instead.
Access mental health resources.
LGBTQ+ National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564
The Trevor Project: Call, chat and text (available 24/7)
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 or chat online (available 24/7)
Colorado Crisis Services: Call 1-844-493-8255 or text “TALK” to 38255 (available 24/7).
Coping During Tragedy, WellPower
If you are a manager, leader, or colleague and want to be supportive of LGBTQ and allied coworkers, here are some tips for you to create psychological safety right now:
Acknowledge the stress. Simple messages like - "if you're human and you're awake, this is a difficult time" - show you notice what's going on and care about your employees.
Check-in on how others are. Community and caring are effective supports. If you're worried about bringing up the tragedy directly, lean on generalizations that may land more softly, like "I know this has been a tragic week. How are you doing?" Keep checking in - the grief will likely persist.
Offer support if you can. If you hear an employee is struggling, try to strategize with them to give them some space - move a timeline, redelegate work, and ask what could be rearranged.
Give grace. Remember that when people experience grief or a lack of safety, their brains will function differently, and they may not be aware of what is happening. They may be more forgetful or react more strongly than usual. If you see that happening, give some grace.
Create space. Create opportunities for that person to have more autonomy or control if their reactions seem guarded, sharp, or indicate a fight/flight response. Even offering a choice of meeting times can help. If people seem withdrawn or overwhelmed find ways to make things simpler for them - offer to postpone decisions, or clarify priorities and let the rest drop.
Make connections. Get knowledgeable about employee assistance programs, employee affinity networks, and community resources so that you can refer folks if needed. Share the mental health resources listed above.
Want to learn more about why organizations should care about "mega-threats" and what to do about them, organization-wide? Check out this resource: Supporting Employees After Violence Against Their Community by Angelica Leigh and Shimul Melwani, Harvard Business Review.